Lost Innocence

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Last Night I experienced a really different me, or it’s better to say that I find myself in the situation where I see a totally different ME.

I love children, I love to see them playing and asking questions , crying for toys and candies, in short I just love children, but Last night 3 kids (4-5 year old) irritates me madly by their acts.

It left so many questions in my mind.

This is what happens…

I was sitting with my family in a park, when they suddenly appeared and ask for my son bicycle and sits on it without permission and ran away, then try to grab snacks from my hand which I gave them because I want to get rid of them, but they just took the cycle and food, continuously laughing and playing with each other, not bothering that they have someone else cycle and they did not even took permission. Again they came and ask for food, I don’t know why but I suddenly lost my temper, I just forget that they are kids, and said to my husband “ Just get rid of them now and take back the cycle”, My tone of speaking was a surprise for him and he gets annoyed and said “They are just kids,what is wrong with you?” But, I can’t see kids  I just see few ill mannered people in their kid bodies , Bothering everyone in the park. My husband patience and reply makes me feel more terrible that may be I am unnecessarily getting angry.

I left the place and start walking with my kids; I was thinking, thinking and just thinking …

Those kids were very poor and they surely don’t have any facility in their house, but where is their INNOCENCE?  , which at least I can’t see?

May be I am getting rude to those kids?

Or maybe I m not as kind as I think I am,

May be I don’t love any kid apart from my own?

May be I am a mean person?

I have no fear of Allah and I am just getting mad on people he creates? (most terrible thought)

In short, I was sad and confused!

After many thoughts and arguments with myself, I realized what make me annoyed were their acts. The way they talk and behave was not childish for me at all, it is more like gangster.I realized, that those kids were treated by life harshly, my opinion, I don’t know if I am right or not, but they just brought up like that obviously by their parents, and they just lost their innocence somewhere to soon, or maybe they belong to a family where acting like this is a normal behavior.

Child without innocence is just like a grown up person who is treating life in the same way like life treats him. I feel that, without innocence and positive brought up child is not a child any more,their soul and mind are way too big than their bodies and in this particular case they grown up fast and negatively.

Age is just a number, the only thing which makes you dear and near to people is right and positive attitude, one could be still loved as a child if the soul is innocent and pure, whatever is the age. On the other hand, a child can lost all his childhood beauty and charm because of their negative behavior which is definitely because of family and many more aspects which are need to be addressed.
I just wonder, what my readers feel about this. I feel bad for myself, as being so inpatient and confused, I feel sad for those kids , A child don’t deserve such a cruel life but Allah knows better. And Yes I feel great for people like my husband , who remain kind with every single child no matter how terrible they are, whoever they are and whatever they do. Such people are a true blessing of Allah indeed.

May Allah show me and all of you a right and true path for dealing life. Ameen

May Allah bless you all and your loved ones, Ameen

 

 

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5 responses »

  1. Afsheen – what a beautiful post. Beautiful because you shred your heart with all of us. My heart breaks for those children. They are in need of great love and the right attention.
    I know how you feel – I can loose patience with people who act wrongful. My husband is much like yours – we help each other to see and respond.
    You are a wonderful woman with such a big heart and I think that is why you reacted that way – inside you you see the need for these children.
    I am blessed to know you.
    Cate (Uma) ❤

    • Hey Cate, I still feel pain when I think about those children. I just can’y get rid of that moment when I flared up but thanks to Allah didn’t say anything directly to those kids.
      I just hope I will learn to cope with life more wisely and I pray to Allah that I could someday able to help such children.Ameen
      Thank you that you still find a good Afsheen in me 🙂
      All my prays for you and for your loved ones, May Allah bless you all ,ameen

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