Women in East : One Perspective !




We Women!!

We born, we live a life under the warm shelter of our parents, they raise us, feed us, educate us, prepare us for the one big thing which we are unaware of but they start thinking of it as soon as they know they are going to have a baby girl, as soon as they first hold us, when we take our first step, when we say our first word and when we step into adulthood, their worries grow as we grow.

Each one of us experiences the stories of our mother, How she grew up, how she help her mother in household chores and cooking in very early age, how she sew cloths and never misbehaved or disobeyed. All of these stories are the daily doses whenever we neglect or miss any duty assigned to us. Our Mothers tell us stories of their leaving the home, living without parents and siblings, living for their respect, living for husband happiness, living for in laws happiness, how they sacrificed, how they ease every one’s pain, how they supported their husband and family. They portray an ART MOVIE in our minds and we women think feels and grow up.

We grow up with dreams, with love, with stories, some of them makes us feel love all around the atmosphere, it’s like hearing sweet bells ringing with a magical fragrance around us, making us fly high up in the sky with all of the love and happiness and sometime the stories open that chapter of the book which is not understandable like a riddle, like a puzzle, un-solved, a mystery.

We grow up, we complete the training and now it’s time to take exam, Self taken test (Love) or Surprise test (Arranged), whatever the kind of exam it is, we women have the final tip/guidance/suggestion/ and prays by our parents, to stay happy and make your home like we did, be patient and ignore little things which might hurt or confuse you, you are going to a new place, adopt them, everyone will love you and will help you, our blessing are with you, do not let us down, make us proud…and they say good bye with tears, with worries of our future, they send us to a brand new home with all the training and guidance which they have been doing since our birth.

And on next step, we are in a whole new world, we look around like a rat coming out from his house, or rabbit who is trying to be safe from all the danger, we step in the new life, with new EVERYTHING, even the NEW US !

For some of us, the training with stories works really well, for some average or less than average and for some they don’t work at all. Whatever the case one thing is common, WE ARE ALL STUCK UP! In fantasy, happiness, discovering, building up new relations, making them happy and proving ourselves a RIGHT CHOICE for all of them. Very right choice, indeed.

We women find this chapter of our life differently, we feel differently, we manage it differently, we react differently but all of us die to share this with our parents, especially with the chief instructor OUR MOTHER.

Mothers also react differently, some says keep following my training and tips even if they don’t work in your exam, some says NO, stop and change the rule accordingly, and some says I don’t know what to do? Because she, herself has been a confused wife till now. Some says to handle the situation by you.

In all the cases, we women stuck up badly, some are making it worst, some turning them to normal, some are deeply attached with a new life with all the happiness. In this entire scenario we slowly indulged in our new home with husband, kids and in laws, even with the family friends and far relatives.

Everything comes to a track except for the few who fails and turns back to parents home. They face a new exam which re-born a new Women. 

Women who pass the exam happily fit into their new home. They get busy, really busy as per their mother instructions, everyone is happy, everyone is satisfied, and we don’t even get time to see ourselves as the same women who once had her own identity which she gave up to be a good wife, daughter and for all the other relations which suddenly popped-up into her life just like a surprise token comes out of detergent box in marketing campaign.

We were sweet daughters of sweet parents, but we are happy that we make our parents proud, we kept their respect! UNTIL a day we hear these words come questions: You do not care about us any more, you do not come to stay with us, you are just for your in laws now, it seems like you do not remember us but your husband, why did you adopt this habit? Why don’t you come in family parties? Why have you changed your hairstyle? Why only you cook every day?

A shocking call from the life we were living before, from those people who pushed us in the new life, with a lesson to live, live and live for marriage and all related to this. A whole new bunch of questions and answers…..

We stand, we listen, we try to fix things for every single relation and the life moves on like this.

The life moves on and we women fight our battle with perseverance!!

Will we Sink or Swim ???





21 responses »

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  2. Afsheen – an amazing post. Thank you for sharing this. I have learned much about you from this writing. I admit, as an American, I know very little of your culture. Thank yoiu.

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  8. A very thoughtful piece, dear Afsheen.

    My upbringing was quite unlike yours (as you’d expect from my being a middle-class American) so my three sisters and I all grew up with quite different influences and expectations from those surrounding you as you grew–and yet the questions we had about coming to adulthood, independence, and relationships outside of our childhood home were probably not very different from yours after all. I think it’s practically universal to wonder what sort of paths our lives will take, whether we can live up to the hopes, standards and expectations our family, community, and we ourselves have, and most of all whether we will find companions who make us feel valued, respected, needed, happy and loved.

    I think that, from what I’ve read so far of your posts, you are like me in having found just such a happy place in life. You seem to swim with much grace, and that is a blessing and a gift to be treasured and nurtured in your own household and with all of those you know, even through your blog. 🙂


    • Hey Kathryn

      I am so glad to see your very detailed thought/ opinion on my post. This one is very real and very common in our society and subcontinent. But as you said, it is some how related to you and your sisters also is a lil surprise. Because we have a different vision about west. They are more free, liberal and respect human rights as compare to us.

      From your opinion. i have a feeling that women of all world are some what same, when it comes to emotions related to husband, kids and family.

      And we are alike also 🙂 because you feel my words.

      Thanks alot
      Take care and best regards.

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